#seriously The Hacker needs to recharge all the time

[vikenticomeshome]

Cyberchase - The Hacker's Most Humiliating Defeat

I wanted to draw attention to what may well be The Hacker's most humiliating defeat. Yes, I am aware that he has gone through his villain decay during the show's long run. However, my go-to example is from way back in the early days, specifically April 14, 2003. This was when they released "Numberless Poddles", an official webcomic made for the pbskids.org website.

The basic plot is that The Hacker stole the numbers off the Poddles of Poddleville. He also stole their record book containing all of their numbers. Finally, he made them forget everything. We learn from the comic that, in Poddle society, the number a Poddle is given dicatates what they are supposed to do. Without their numbers, nobody knows what to do, and Poddle society screeches to a halt. That is a much more dystopic description than we ever got in the show.

This comic is weird. They made the backgrounds using screenshots from Season 1 Episode 7, "The Poddleville Case". This was a tweaked version of the original 1999 pilot, which was known for a wonkier art-syle than what became the final show. Then, they sort of stuck their own drawn images over the backgrounds. Their drawings are in a completely different style, which clashes with the backgrounds. Still, I recommend any fans of the show to read all of the official Cyberchase web comics. They were taken off the site years ago, and the Wayback Machine Archives are missing pieces. However, they have been restored in full as part of Blue Maxima's Flashpoint Archive Project. Anyway, before we get to The Hacker's humiliating defeat, here is one example of the disconnect between the original pilot screenshot and the art. There is a scene in the comic where Motherboard gives instructions to the kids. For the background, they used a screenshot of the pilot where Motherboard gave instructions to the kids. That's about the easiest way they could have assembled a comic panel with Motherboard an the kids. However, Digit is also in this comic. Recall that he wasn't in the original pilot. How did they add him in?

It's like they put a sticker on top of some grainy VHS footage. Would you like to see The Hacker's double chin? No. Too bad.

Yeah, they wanted a shot of The Hacker, Buzz, and delete with The Hacker in this pose. But they didn't like his face, so they drew another face. You can see his iconic chin from the pilot sticking out, though they covered up most of it. The face from the background shot would have worked though, so I'm not sure why they changed it. Oh, and don't mind the Poddle eggs. They aren't part of this story. They're only here because the webcomic uses screenshots from the pilot.

But the main point of this post was to talk about The Hacker's humiliating defeat. Skipping ahead, the kids find the stolen book in the Poddleville Vault on Mount Poddle. I don't know if this is supposed to be the Poddle Power Vault from the show or not.

I'm sorry, I have to include two more bizarre comic panels. Remind me, how big is The Hacker?

The answer is very small.

Okay, okay, the kids have found the Poddleville Record Book, and now they have to get past Hacker. Is there anything nearby that they could use?

This was back in the day, when The Hacker was still physically intimidating. He could easily pick up the kids, and they usually just ran away from him. This was back in the day when Delete had stretchy arms and used them to capture the kids. And yet, in this official web comic, the kids defeat The hacker, Buzz, and Delete with giant "Happy Birthday" hats.

And then they lock him in the vault and leave him to die, I guess.

How long do you think it took him to figure out the vault code?

Okay, I have to include one more wacky image from the web comic. Here we are at the end. Motherboard is on a flat-screen TV on the stage congratulating the kids for stopping The Hacker. Matt even gets to insult The Hacker.

Wait, why is the Poddle known as "Triangle 2" panicking? Didn't the kids just save the day? Let's look at the background after the new drawings have been removed.

Wait, is this the scene from the pilot where the mayor is holding a press conference to talk about the stolen Poddle Eggs?

Yeah, they just took this shot from where the tent is about to collapse and erased the mayor.

[opportunistic-chicanery]

Anonymous asked:

Bro you legit a cripple, can’t even take down three kids, another cripple, or an old man. Or a bird. For real, you want to be taken seriously? I laugh at you. (Ooc it’s for the mean anon stuff, plz Don’t take it too seriously Spinda! Hacker can tho lol)

Hacker eased back in his recharger chair, teeth gritted as he felt energy flow back into his weary system. "Quiet," he murmured his tired voice still low and raspy.

He had been forced to leave the Wreaker to clean up after that duo of delirious duncebuckets. Either he had exerted himself more than anticipated or the alternate and much more uncomfortable conclusion, his battery was leaking. And he was running out of time.

"I don't need to take them down, I just need to take down Motherboard. And rest assured, I shall."

You are sooooo despicable… yeah let’s stop you, Mr. I-need-all-the-help-in-cyberspace-to-make-me-feel-valuable-and-worthy. Your lame ass just wants attention, and when you get it you can’t even handle it! (Same anon)

"Whatever you hope to accomplish with those broad and empty statements, you won't find your audience here."

"I have reasons for all I do, and whether you are able to understand them or not is of no consequence to me."

Omg Don’t even get me started on screwing your self over. I think your old programming is still there, bc somehow you always manage to trip yourself up in your schemes! It’s like you do it on purpose! Sabotage! And then you get mad???? Like it was your fault anyway?????? You really are a genius, still on the side of good no matter what your mouth says even if it’s subconscious. (Same anon! I’m all done roasting him, thx! All the love to you, mun!)

It wasn't only physical exertion than had the potential to deplete his power supply, but emotional as well, and it was this which he attributed to his current relapse of lightheadedness, despite his recharger chair running on high. Useless scrap was long due for an upgrade.

"One day you'll eat those words, stranger. When every site you've so much as stepped foot in is dematerializing around you. When your precious Motherboard and all you hold dear have been terminated by power I'll wield in my little finger."

"Nothing that bubble brained buffoon can code will ever triumph the will of T̵̼̀͛H̵̖͠E̷̛̘̜̔ ̵͖̿͋H̶̪̉̉ǎ̴̪̋c̸̜͛͝k̴̡͂͐è̸̯r̴̮̽̚."

[unwiltingblossom]

Queen’s Favor (Mysme Jumin/MC AU 8/?)

Summary: Being a maid would be much easier if the cat would just let her do her job.

AU - Instead of joining the RFA via random text, MC is hired on as one of the maids assigned to Jumin Han’s penthouse. Nothing else about the setting has changed, the messenger and the RFA still exist, only the MC’s position has been altered.

Honestly, she didn't even need to keep a watch on her, because Elizabeth seemed to have that timing down, and wouldn't brook any kind of deviation. She'd never had to interrupt any of her work just to go play with the cat, but she had no doubt that Elizabeth would put her paw down about it if she ever tried not to.

What this penthouse really needed was a sign she could check off days for how long it'd been without an accident or life threatening encounter.

She ought to have a prize, as this was the 30th day without incident.

Unsurprisingly, no such thing awaited her when she arrived at the penthouse. Aside from the one gift (which she kept at home most of the time, as it was much too valuable to wear at work), her enigmatic employer - contractor - left her nothing else but the odd bit of food and endless weird messes that made her wonder just what he got up to when she wasn't there. He did arrive from time to time when she worked, but as always he left her alone and merely gave her pleasant compliments or a stiff drink at the end of her shift.

The cat was troublesome as ever, but hadn't caused her any injury.

She leaned down to rub the cat under her chin, and then tossed some bell-toy further into the room. No longer nearly as starved for attention, the flowy white cat pranced off after the toy. After a bit of fussing, Elizabeth had gotten back into the habit of just expecting her in the mornings, not all day, and so the cat mostly only smothered her when she first arrived and whenever it was her break time.

Honestly, she didn't even need to keep a watch on her, because Elizabeth seemed to have that timing down, and wouldn't brook any kind of deviation. She'd never had to interrupt any of her work just to go play with the cat, but she had no doubt that Elizabeth would put her paw down about it if she ever tried not to.

The phone rang.

That in of itself wasn't particularly unusual. Although it seemed most of his contacts either knew his working hours or used whatever gold-encrusted cellphone he owned, there was always the odd whoever that called anyway. The strange thing about it was that after the first call went to whatever voicemail was attached to the phone, it started ringing again. Immediately. At first, she was a bit worried there was some urgent matter actually meant for her on the phone. But that was absurd, as she had her own phone on her - and she double-checked, it was fully powered and getting signal - and anyone that desperate to speak to her would get through to her phone somehow.

Ten minutes passed with it ringing, and it was getting on her last nerve. Only her immense sense of self control - and need for the sweet, sweet pay the job provided - kept her from ripping the phone right out of the wall and then possibly throwing it out of the window.

"He's not here, you needy stalker!"

She didn't pick up the phone and say that, obviously. But it did make her feel a little better saying it out loud.

Almost eerily, the phone stopped ringing.

Maybe it just took that long for whatever desperate caller that was to figure that out. Maybe she should let the penthouse owner know he had this obsessed caller? Just in case? Not that his security didn't seem tip-top as it was. Aside from the cat-napper, anyway. But apparently they were friends somehow.

She jumped and gave a short shriek when her phone rang in her pocket.

The number on the phone was unknown. Probably, it was just spam or something unrelated.

If nothing else, at least she had an excuse to chew out the caller without getting fired, if indeed it was related at all.

She frowned at the phone a moment, before finally accepting the call with a huff.

"Man, you are way too good at resisting the urge to answer the phone call of destiny!" She couldn't immediately place the voice, but it...sounded way less creepy than she'd expect for a phone stalker.

"...Huh?"

"Ninja maid! Your dulcet tones are always such a gift!" Oh, it was him. Wait. How was it him?! "I heard you were gravely injured as punishment for allowing my escape from yon castle, so I had to call you to show my appreciation, but then you just ignored all my calls! For so long! Are you just afraid of phones, is that why you ignored the phone call of destiny?"

Wait.

Wait. Many questions all jumbled together at once.

"That's not what I-that's..how-how do you even know about that? How do you have my number?! Who are you?"

"Oh, wow! My first interview~. I didn't come prepared." Although his voice sounded as if his phone were on speaker on some desk or something, she didn't miss the teasing tone in it. "Fortunately, I can answer all the questions at once! FOR YOU SEE! I am none other than the diabolical genius, world famous hacker 707! ...If you think about it, you'll see that answers all three questions."

Yes, she understood how it applied to all the questions.

No, she didn't believe it at all. The scrawny little screaming nerd she'd twice tackled didn't have the right look to be a hacker, firstly, and secondly she couldn't imagine why a high profile heir to a giant corporation would associate with someone criminal. And another thing: even if he were a hacker, why would he fixate on harassing the maid?

He was definitely some kind of a stalker.

"I'm going to call the police and have them trace this call."

"That's...sort of the spirit!" He laughed on the other end of the line. "Anyway. It's tragic, but...I've been trapped inside my house for a month, unable to go out and see Princess Elly! About now is when I'd normally go out to get a recharge by visiting her, but...alas! I'm going to be trapped even longer in here. That's why I need you-"

"No."

"-to be my hands!" He didn't even miss a beat. "You must send my affection to Elly through the phone!"

"Absolutely not. I know the kind of things you do to her."

"Don't put it like that, Ninja Maid! Our love is purer than that. If you could just snap a picture-"

"I'm going to hang up now. If you call back, I'm turning it off this time."

"NO WAIT-"

Seriously, though? How in the world did he get her number? Had he stolen it somehow during one of their scuffles? Or did he trick the company into sharing it with him? He didn't seem all that wily or convincing to her, but then...maybe he could be a bit more charismatic to someone whose first interactions didn't involve him screaming bloody murder in their ears or sitting on their boss' bed in a cheap maid outfit.

She rubbed her forehead and flopped down on the couch. Her head still hurt from the crank calling, and that voice shouting in her ear didn't help the situation at all, either.

Elizabeth wandered into the room, tail flicking as if she, too, still had ringing in her ears. The little furball looked up at her for a moment, as if silently scolding her for daring to take her break early, before prancing over and hopping up onto her lap.

"Yeah. Didn't think you'd have a problem with it." She reached down to run her fingers along the cat's soft white fur, and the little monster bumped its head up against her hand, as if demanding more petting.

Honestly. It'd be kind of a bummer when she had to move on to another place to clean some day. The odd life-threatening situation and conniving cat wasn't actually all that bad of a compromise for having such luxurious breaks and so few really alarming messes. The owner wasn't home all that often even when he wasn't out of the country, and it showed. Both in the demanding cat, and in the lack of lived-in messes she encountered.

She scoffed to herself as the cat grabbed her hand in its paws and gnawed lightly at her fingertips. Easy to say it's not that bad a compromise when it's been a month since any peril though, huh?

"Alright, geez. If you're going to keep biting like that, I'll get you something to eat that isn't human."

--

She stretched, listening to the alarming musical starring her back and spine. She liked to think that all came from the hard work she put into the day, and not the torture rack that her bed had slowly been devolving into since it started running low on fluff and springs.

Well, it was fine. With what she made, she could really start saving for medical exams, a better bed, or even moving somewhere that looked less like an 'Escape from New York' movie. The evening air was cool on her skin as she walked, and she wondered idly if it might even be worth it to just go ahead and start using a car. The walk did take a while, and it meant getting up extra early in the mornings.

The streetlights flickered on above her, as the sun finally got low enough in the sky to upset them.

Actually, tomorrow was payday. She glanced down and grabbed frayed blonde locks in two fingers. Her hair could probably do with a good trim. She could look even more killer in her uniform with a good cut and style.

Someone shoved into her, nearly knocking her face-first into the pavement. She manged not to collide with the ground, but only by engaging in a rousing round of pinwheel hopscotch.

 It's not like I was just taking up all the space in the sidewalk!

She rounded on her assailant, but the figure already moved away from her at a quick pace, hood up, obscuring their face in the evening shadows.

"Hey-!"

They - probably a he, given their relative height - didn't even hesitate or react to her calling out to them. Despite the two of them being the only ones in the street. Which was almost as rude as nearly knocking her over in the first place.

Naturally, she chased after him. Just to make sure he could get the earful he deserved.

He was surprisingly agile, as he took quick turns through multiple alleyways without any warning. Frankly, she was starting to worry that she might inadvertently be tailing someone to a drug deal. If I see anyone shady popping up, I'll just...

...Okay. So maybe she'd gotten a little too into giving some random jerk on the street an earful just for bumping into her. Now that she thought about it.

She blinked, looking back and forth on the street.

 Wait. Where did he go?

She'd barely even gotten distracted at all, and yet the figure she'd put so much effort into following was just...gone. A few businesses stood nearby, metal gates locked down tight, and one or two houses that looked burned out and boarded up. There were no obvious entrances to any of them.

A short distance down the road stood a building she'd have considered tall before that penthouse spoiled her. Distant city lights reflected on the windows of hundreds of rooms, but not one of them were lit up, even in the increasing darkness of the evening.

"Weird." Businesses usually kept their lights on for security purposes, right? At least dim ones. She frowned and made her way closer to the building. A modest parking lot with various marked carports sat in front of it. Completely empty.

There weren't any obvious signs on the building indicating whether it was one big business, or if it was a mini mall of some sort that just hadn't successfully rented itself out to any local businesses. Well. All the same, the man likely disappeared in there. Somewhere.

She wasn't crazy enough to go investigating it, though.

...Instead, she just...needed to figure out how to find her way back home. And not chase after random people who made her angry on the street.

"...Ah."

Well. Crap. She had a pretty decent idea of what direction she came from, and she could probably make her way back to the main road. But it was also late, and a pretty shady part of town.

She frowned, and dug out her phone. Light flooded her vision as she turned it back on. "GPS...please work."

[chibinightowl]

First Contact

Inspired by @tanekore‘s utterly amazing Jason Todd piece, Freedom Fighter. I meant to have this up last week, but life threw me a ton of lemons, so I had to deal with the influx first. The story is set a few years in the future of a JayDick piece I wrote last year, which can be read here (forewarned, it’s E). This story is most definitely not. ^_^

---

The quiet ping from Tim’s comm put him on instant alert. And what a time for it, right in the middle of a conference vid with Federation High Command. Thank the stars he was alone in his office on board the Titan because otherwise, someone would undoubtedly notice the quiet shift of his hands as he brought up a holoscreen beneath his desk.

Normally, he wouldn’t go through the effort during a meeting such as this, but the alert was one he’d been waiting, no, hoping for since he lost contact with the merchant vessel his ultimate trump card was carefully stashed away on. The AI was his greatest accomplishment, so the loss of the ship and his agent were devastating to his plans to regain control over the hijacked Unternet, the sub-particle web that connected all the planets and colonies in the system with Earth. Anything was possible on those data streams and the government needed to regain control before Ulysses Armstrong realized exactly what he now had access to.

Tim suspected Moneyspider was involved somehow and Oracle concurred. Between them, they knew just about everything worth knowing in the Earth Federation; their respective roles in the Intelligence Service giving them more power than that fool of a President could ever dream of. Unlike the Penguin, he and Barbara Gordon were determined to use this knowledge for the betterment of all.

There were plans in place to overthrow the current regime, plans that they’d been ready to implement at the start of the next election cycle. Plans that were now crashing around them because of Armstrong. The AI had been key and now, despite all the odds, it was signaling it was back online.

How was Tim’s main question as his fingers flew over the small screen while maintaining eye contact with Admiral Wayne and the other Commanders of the six fleets that made up Naval forces protecting the solar system. From what was always a favorite unvoiced question of his since most of their turmoil came from within rather than from beyond. Case in point, right here as Armstrong was one of theirs, a former Naval officer with a massive chip on his shoulder that was often directed right at him.

Humans and their drama, he’d heard a Kryptonian say with derision once where he wasn’t supposed to overhear. It wasn’t entirely wrong, especially since humanity seemed to carry with them eons of history that they behaved as though occurred yesterday. Always looking to the past, the Kryptonian had added before changing the topic. 

Like they were ones to talk. There was a reason they were banned from this system. Or any other system with a yellow star. 

Tim swiped at the small holoscreen, tapping in the codes to receive data from the AI. Where was it? 

Streams of information flooded the screen, so fast his cybernetic-enhanced eyes could barely keep up. Dammit, this vid needed to end now. He could only listen to Ogilvy and Lark rehash the same stupid event for the third time. Neither of them came out of that looking great and both were determined to blame the other while trying to regain face with the Admiral.

Apparently, Admiral Wayne couldn’t stand to listen to it again either. “Alright, I think we’ve reached the end of the walk-ons,” he interrupted when Ogilvy paused for breath. “I expect to see all of you planet-side for the Naval graduation in three weeks. Until then, standard channels unless an emergency crops up.” 

He didn’t give the others a chance to reply and disconnected the vid, ending the conference. 

“Thank you,” Tim breathed, sending his holos to eye level with a flick of his wrist and expanding them. “TIM, load a chart of your current location.”

“Loading.” 

A large blue orb appeared on a third holo above the other two. 

Tim narrowed his eyes. “Neptune? How under the sun did you arrive there?”

The lost shuttle had been traveling between his base above Jupiter and Mars, using the interplanetary gates. Neptune’s current orbit could not be further away if it tried. 

A new stream of data appeared, complex figures and symbols that only someone with cybernetics could understand. What Tim read made him grimace because Oracle’s suspicions were now confirmed. Armstrong had used the Unternet to interfere with the interplanetary gates.

This was not good. At all.

“Current status?”

“Power cells at 15%, no exterior damage, and my scans indicate no internal damage either. However, I am in the hands of a human male who claims to be one of the greatest hackers who ever lived and he’s on the verge of cracking my HUD.”

“Son of a bitch,” Tim swore, fingers flying across the screen as he attempted to narrow in his own satellites and scanners on the AI’s location. “Any chance to draw power from elsewhere?”

“I’ve got enough power for a self-destruct. Should I initiate?”

Good question. Tim frowned and glanced back at the screen showing Neptune.

“Get me a visual on your hacker.”

The image flickered and a face appeared, framed by untamed red hair and a grungy cap that should have seen the trash bin ages ago. He was human alright, and smart enough to wear protective goggles as he poked around at TIM’s HUD. There was something familiar about him, but with his eyes concealed, it was up to facial recognition to narrow the possibilities. 

A list of possible names popped up, and Tim honed in on one immediately. Roy Harper, alias Arsenal. Member of the antigovernment group the Outlaws and listed as their resident munitions and technology expert. Hacker could probably fall under that category, although Tim suspected the man’s claims to be exaggerated unless things had drastically changed since the last time their paths crossed. 

It was times like these that Tim missed the relative simplicity of his Academy days. Dick would not be happy if he were to learn about this. 

Best not to tell him then. 

“No need for self-destruct yet,” he instructed the AI. “The Outlaws aren’t as antiestablishment as they’d like the press to believe. In their own way, they’re trying to take the Penguin down too.”

Not that they were doing a good job of it. They needed a plan, structure. A leader who didn’t fly off the handle and blow things up at the drop of a hat.

“Standby then, sir?”

Tim watched as Harper leaned in closer. Another figure stood behind him, just over his shoulder, but wearing a full-face mask as opposed to Harper’s goggles. He zoomed in and stepped back in surprise. 

It was an oni mask, grim and fearsome, and as red as the eyes of the man whose face it concealed. The thing was, he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near this sector of space. In fact, if he remembered correctly, the file stated he was near Venus on the New Arkham penal colony, sentenced for a lifetime of hard labor in the mines for more murders than Tim had fingers and toes. 

Jason Todd. The Red Hood. 

What the hell was he doing here? 

Tim’s nearly obsessive need for answers had him sitting back down in his chair, eyes locked on the vid. “Yes. Standby and observe.”

---

Ghost ships never failed to give Jason the creeps. Death and him were old friends, but it didn’t make it any easier when the people bumping into him in zero-g never had a chance. An interplanetary gateway malfunction, Roy had guessed when they came upon the ship hanging in Neptune’s gravity-well. The large shuttle definitely wasn’t the type to travel long distances, and there wasn’t much out this far unless a person was readying to leave the system altogether. They were lucky the Starfire was of Tamaranean design, otherwise there would be no oxygen slowly filtering in from the docking port. This shuttle wasn’t the biggest he’d ever seen, but it was large enough for a good fifty or so passengers.

Where had it come from?

Jason pushed another drifting body away from where Roy crouched on the floor, the magnetic pull of their gravity-boots allowing them to stand still. “Seriously, let’s get out of here already.”

“Someone afraid of a bunch of dead people?”

“I see dead people all the time. You’re next if you don’t move your ass.”

Roy ignored him, entranced with the new toy he’d found drifting amongst the other detritus. “You don’t get it, Jaybird. This is DI tech. Drake Industries. We’re talking top-of-the-line, best of the best, tech here. It’s so expensive I can’t even afford it in my dreams.”

“You can’t even afford a new hat.”

“Go poke through the engine room. If there’s any charge left to those ion batteries, we’ll be sittin’ pretty for a cycle or more.”

Jason sighed as he wandered away. This was what he was reduced to, sifting through wreckage of dead vessels and scavenging for goods that would put food in his stomach and recharge the fuel cells on Kory’s ship. The last attempt to gain a foothold in the Federation had crippled the Outlaws more than the government likely realized, and it wasn’t just because they’d captured him.

No, even after his rescue by the two most incredible people he’d ever known, it all boiled down to one thing.

Money.

Well, money and information. Neither of which were in great abundance at the moment.

So here they were, out in the back of beyond licking their wounds and biding their time. Another opportunity to take a stab at the Penguin would come again. It had to, because otherwise, what was the point? What had he given everything up for if not for that one chance to make things right, better for everyone in the Earth Federation?

Not for the first time, an image of Dick flashed before his eyes and Jason shoved the thought away with a grimace. Fuck memory lane and fuck Dick Grayson. The past was the past and he’d more than learned from the mistakes he’d made there.

The engine room proved to have nothing but inert batteries, the charge to them utterly neutralized by the energies of a malfunctioning gateway. Jason shoved the last tube back into its casing and scowled. There went any chance of a decent meal unless he wanted to sift through the luggage in the hold.

Why the fuck not? It wasn’t like he had anything better to do, not with Roy still poking and prodding at that piece of DI tech.

The cold, dark air in the storage compartments made Jason shiver as soon as he entered. With all the pods, it reminded him of a tomb. In a way it was, as everything down here wasn’t needed by the people floating up above. Chances were likely all the passengers died when the gateway created the wormhole that sent them out here, but there might have been a few stragglers who slowly suffocated as the air ran out.

He got to work, switching on a light-stick to see by, and sorted through the luggage pods. There were a few promising items. Earth gems always garnered some decent creds outside the system, so the jewelry he found was stashed away quick enough. A silken robe he set aside for Kory, and in the depths of one suitcase, he found a stash of physical cred chips.

Maybe there would be some beef to add to his broccoli after all.

“Hey, Jay!” Roy called from above. “You down here?”

“Yeah!” Jason returned to the stairs so he wouldn’t need to shout. “The engine room was a bust, but you might want to check it out, just in case. Got a few things in here that might be worth something if we head over to Vega for the exchange.”

Roy clomped down the stairs, the pull on his boots against the metal making it ring with each step. “You won’t believe what this is.” He held out the thick, circular disc he’d been messing around with earlier.

“Something we can trade for a shit ton of creds?”

“Technically, yes. However, I think we might want to keep it.”

Jason frowned, not sure what his best friend was getting at. “Why?”

“Because this isn’t just DI tech. This is Drake Industries AI tech.”

Well now. Even he’d heard rumors about the kind of artificial intelligence DI was involved with. All military grade stuff too, the kind that required the highest of clearances to even be in the same room with it.

And now, here they were with what could be one of the most cutting-edge AIs in the system.

He sighed, not looking forward to poking through the bodies upstairs to see who it might have belonged to. “What have you done to it?”

Roy laughed, eyes a little wild as he slipped his shades back on. It didn’t matter that it was darker than the murk that constantly surrounded New Gotham, the man could see perfectly with them. “Charged the battery a bit. It was almost dead.”

“Are we gonna die if we turn this thing on?”

“Probably not.” Roy handed the disc to him. “At least, I’m 60% sure.”

Jason had lived through worse odds, but because he had a reputation to maintain, he still gave his friend shit. “Gee, that’s reassuring. And since you’re just so goddamned skilled at putting me at ease, I’m covering my face. The last thing we need is the Federation on our asses right now.” 

Roy shrugged and took a few steps back as Jason slid his oni mask on. It used the same lens technology as Roy’s shades. “Your funeral.”

“Yeah, it is.”

It wasn’t that Jason didn’t trust Roy. He knew in the coldest cockles of his heart that the man would never betray him. The problem was, his best friend was erratically brilliant and if what he said about this piece of tech was in anyway accurate, then they had a treasure trove of information and access into the inner workings of the Federation in their hands.

This was the edge the Outlaws needed to get back in the game. 

If he wasn’t, then chances were likely they were about to get fucked because that was the way their luck had been of late.

“Here goes nothing.” Jason pressed lightly on the activation sensor. 

The device illuminated and spun in his hand, glowing with a faint blue light as it hovered before them. A hologram appeared, about ten inches in height, of what appeared to be a human male. A rather attractive one at that, with fine features, sharp cheekbones, and an even sharper jaw. 

Whoever made the AI, they were definitely projecting a fantasy because no man could be that good looking. 

The hologram’s eyes narrowed. “I am TIM, designation 003-07-19. Who are you?”

Was that a bit of sass Jason’s ears detected? “Who do you think we are?” he asked instead, wanting to see what this thing could do.

A small HUD light up in front of TIM the AI. “Visual scans indicate Roy Harper, known as Arsenal, and Jason Todd, the Red Hood. Members of the antigovernment group the Outlaws.” Those eyes narrowed again. “Such an original name,” he muttered.

“Hey, who’re you to judge?” Jason shoved his mask up over his head because there was apparently no point in hiding behind it. With the light the AI was giving off, he could see just fine. “What kind of AI are you?”

“I am TIM,” the hologram replied. “Tactical Information Manager. Series 003-07-19.”

At least he answered direct questions. Why wasn’t he checking for clearance codes? Was this a private piece of tech rather than Navy? If so, whoever created this was a goddamned genius.

“Okay, TIM. Here’s the deal. We found you on board a ghost ship. There’s not a living soul out here except for me and Roy. You do what we tell you, we’ll bring you back to the inner ring.”

Eventually. Jason crossed his toes in his boots, a habit from childhood he never quite grew out of.

“My files indicate you are supposed to be on the New Arkham penal colony.”

Jason smirked. Looked like the government didn’t want to admit they’d fucked up and lost him. “Does it look like we’re on New Arkham? I don’t think so.”

“No, coordinates indicate we are orbiting Neptune.”

Looked like TIM’s data relays were connecting to the Starfire’s mainframe. Whether that was a good thing or not was for Roy to decide. Although, Kory would be pissed if they’d managed to fuck up her ship while she was undercover on the Titan.  “Yeah, it’s a real gas.” 

The humor was lost on the AI. “Did you escape then? Please tell me how so that I can update my files.” 

“Don’t think so, Timmy. If the government wants to believe they still have me all safe and sound in that hellhole, let them. It’s their fault they couldn’t keep me there in the first place.” Not that he ever made it there, but the AI didn’t need to know that.

“My name is TIM, not Timmy.” The AI sounded almost prissy. 

Jason leaned forward. “Your name is whatever I feel like calling ya.”

“Then that will make it hard to determine if you need my services or are speaking to the bots.”

“What the fuck kind of AI are you?”

“The best kind.”

--- Behind the HUD, the real Tim snickered as Todd’s posturing turned more and more into bewilderment the longer he bickered with TIM. Or maybe it was his makeshift uniform because who under the sun finds a man with an ice cream pin tacked onto his jacket intimidating? It even smiled. 

Still, this was a unique opportunity and one that he wasn’t about to waste. The Outlaws were working toward a similar goal as he and Oracle, even if they approached it from a different angle. How did that old adage go? The enemy of my enemy is my friend? 

Yes, he could make this work. Possibly even use these men to further his own goals and take out Armstrong. Wasn’t there a third person who was part of the main crew, a Tamaranean female? He’d have to check.

“The best kind,” Todd repeated, mocking while Harper snickered beside him. “Someone’s got a massively high opinion of himself.”

“Says the man who’s holding his life and jacket together with safety pins and duct tape,” Tim replied, and the AI repeated the words.

Todd’s face turned red and he pointed a gloved finger at TIM. “Listen here, TIM. I recognize DI tech when I see it. That shit’s top notch and so are you. And right now, you’re mine. So whatever backtalk you’ve got programmed into your behavioral patterns, forget it.” 

“I’m afraid you’re sadly mistaken,” the AI stated on its own. “Part of my programming includes the ability to verbally spar. My maker designed me so.”

Yes, and he was rather proud of that little fact. TIM was an extension of himself after all, designed to go where he could not.

“They programmed you to annoy the fuck outta people?”

“You are not my maker and I am not being used for my intended purpose. As such, anything I can do to complete my mission, I will.”

Harper whistled, low and slow. “Wow. I had no idea AI technology was this advanced. Those are subversive behavior patterns, right there.”

But Todd grinned slowly and held TIM higher. This close, Tim found himself face to face with a pair of stunning teal eyes, not red at all like the file stated. Were they his real color? He mentally smacked himself. Now was not the time to fixate on a pair of attractive eyes.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”

The sad thing was, Tim was highly inclined to agree with him.

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